a reaction to the 2002–2006 rhythm game scene, and how it treated felony revenge porn
I often struggle to get others to believe that there was a period where the bemani-centric rhythm game scene circulated revenge porn of me that was also legally considered child pornography, and did so with amusement and not any concern that their behavior was harmful, despite that much of this is documented and findable. I am grateful to find some practical and obvious evidence today.
For background, the video was hosted primarily by Carly Grimm (aka “citruschild” but currently “supercozycarly”), as well as her then-boyfriend, and sections of the bemanistyle+bemaniso sphere of the rhythm game scene. I have since been able to reconcile with Carly’s ex, as I know what it was like to date her. I have not, to this day, received an apology from Carly or any of the users who condoned propagation of the video — including Chris Balcum, who headed bemaniso at the time. The people in the rhythm game scene who have supported me through this are, perhaps unsurprisingly, overwhelmingly women. I will acknowledge them here if they wish, but otherwise they know who they are and know how thankful I am. I am especially thankful for the support of Johnny Sheridan, who participated in the community during that time and was one of the few voices of reason amid a kiwifarms-style mob.
The bemani-centric area of the rhythm game scene where this occurred peaked in popularity and activity in the 2000s; the video I was most known for (not the masturbation video, but Quasar 1.5x rate AAA) at the time had, across several pre-YouTube websites, over four million views. This is not a lot in 2022; it was an enormous amount in 2004–2005. Therefore, when Carly and others had propagated the revenge porn masturbation video, it’s reasonable to say at least several thousand but probably over ten thousand people in the scene had seen it.
To give you a pragmatic and everyday idea of the extent of this video’s propagation, when I attended a new public high school (James Madison) in 2006, a girl I had never met before had seen the video. Moreover, she asked if I “was Arch0wl” in front of her friends, and mentioned how I “looked like him” as if to goad me into admitting it. We were able to overcome this and be friends for a while, and I stopped talking to her in the early 2010s due to her inability to make and keep plans. When I attempted to confront her in 2022 about how she was able to condone her friends propagating the video during those 2005–2007 years, she merely told me that she “didn’t want to talk about it.”
Also, I often fail to mention this aspect, but it is quite important: given that my land line phone number was leaked alongside the revenge porn, this came with, among other things, group stalking. Specifically, frequent calls to my parents between the hours of 12AM–3AM with lines such as “did you know that Arch0wl fingers his ass?” — and I should remind you that Texas was not exactly tolerant of homosexuality in 2006. These calls continued for an on-off basis for months, with one pretending to be a voice of support which was really a social phishing to report how “crazy” I had become. I had, at the time, about one actual friend; I did not trust other human beings, as few people seemed to take issue with what I thought were clearly enormous privacy violations.
To say the least, this had a traumatizing effect on my personality and left me with the sense that I am unable to have privacy. I still, to this day, operate with the feeling that nothing I do is ever actually private — a “God is always watching” sort of thing, but instead of the Christian god it’s a blob of imaginary observers.
Anyway. I, for once, have the reaction of someone who is young enough (22) — and not from that time period — who did a deep dive on that era and has allowed me to post his reactions.
